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3 Questions to Ask your Child Every Night

I had a charming conversation with my three-year-old right before he went to sleep tonight. I talk to my three-year-old very often right before he goes to sleep, so I thought I’d share what we talked about. 

In addition to bringing comfort to my heart, I believe that these conversations are also helping pave the way for future communication.

Three Questions To Ask 

As part of our bedtime routine, I ask him three questions:

  • What is something that made you smile today?
  • What is something that made you cry today?
  • What is something that you learned today?

With these three questions, our little son opens his heart to me and starts smiling and laughing all over again as he remembers what he enjoyed that day, gets serious as he tells me something that made him sad, and is proud when he shares what he learned.

The conversation serves several purposes

Our two-year-old is just beginning to participate in this discussion and has already learned about communication by listening and talking together. 

Sharing is a part of our family life. I want our children to feel comfortable sharing their challenges or successes with us later in life. 

When children are very young, we need to teach them sharing as a family is a good and average thing. That will help them keep their communication paths open later.

I get to see how my son viewed the day as a mother. Sometimes he brings up things that I didn’t expect or tells me something that impressed me. 

It helps me to enjoy and share moments even when I might not have been present for them as a parent. It also makes me aware of miscommunications we might have.

Another Way of Helping

It’s another way of helping my son become a life long learner by reflecting on what he learned each day, albeit briefly. 

This allows me to teach him even the “negative experiences” he had (things that made him cry) didn’t have to be negative.

It is helping my child to pray spontaneously. After he shares about things that made him happy or sad, we take a moment to thank God for good and ask him for help or forgiveness when we encounter challenges.

It helps him practice how to express his thoughts and emotions verbally.

Finally, it’s something we both enjoy doing that involves laughter, snuggles, and growth that brings us closer together. Last night, after answering the questions, he said, “Your turn, mommy!”. So now it goes both ways.

I recommend incorporating these questions into your bedtime routine if you don’t already have one. This time with my boys helps us connect and gets them to bed happy and peacefully.